One Last Try....

never mind is the word i have been telling myself lifelong...
and my near ones kept on telling me to move on,why its taking u so long...
but i have finally decided to go for one last try..
anyways i have now got nothing to lose and i don't want to regret over life asking me u did not try,why?

i am too much in love with that girl..
god.. it has been so difficult to keep moving in that whirl;
still its time to play on my heart for one last time..
and its probably one of my lasts when it comes to rhyme;

i don't want to commit any more mistakes,have already made one and that gave me an unbearable pain...
but still my heart kept on falling and now i am too low to rise,
i have always dreamt on bending on my knees and asking my girl to forgive me for everything..
i just don't want to feel departed from her so early and even the thought of leaving her is like smelling death...

its time to do something...a final one to make her feel how deep my feelings are...
but am still not sure of taking this action and am really very afraid of hurting her once more...
and really i am too much inflicted already to have some new remorse..
i don't know what to do but i will find a way out,
and there is only one thing of which i am sure about..
may be i would regret further.. but this time a no from her would seriously lead me to some consequences....

now lets see what destiny has in store for me..
a yes is what i am counting for to tell her the real me..
and i can swear to give up anything to spend a few precious moments with her...i would cherish it for time immemorial,and really i can't ask god to give me anything more....

but a no is the last thing which i am xpecting to happen...
and i can't really put in words about whats next gonna happen..
probably my words have made it clear that i will be completely lost and this time may be lost forever..
damn this pain sucks and i always wonder why its me who has to endeavour..

i hope my life will turn around in next few days which are going 2 come..
and i will get what i have thrived for so long..
true feelings and emotions favour me..but whats against me is destiny..
let us see who wins in this race of amazing iota of patience...
a win would give me a reason to start all over but the loss would be unbearable and may be i would forget who i used to be..........................................................................................

My Love...So Beautiful

i am all alone with my memories
walking down the lane of loneliness
looking for a bright light to overshadow my darkness
and looking for a fairy to lead me to a land of never ending love;

i hope that she will understand some day what my feelings are
no matter if it happens after i go from this world
but if i meet my soul in heaven ,i wud like to tell her that i still love her the most ;

and since there is no way i can tel her anymore about my feelings being alive
and since i cant be selfish to give up life just for sake of myself
i pray to god to do justice to me and my love
and to give me strength and hope to move forward on this long never ending journey..

its true that life goes on
but its no more the same anymore
her memories will be a treasure for me thruout this life
and i will always remember the way she changed my way to look at life

though she herself doesn't know about all this
but she is a gift for mankind on earth
she is so inspiring that a person can reach heights of world
and can go for the stars in the sky...nothing 2 far,nothing unachievable...such is her calming influence
and one comes to know about the beauty of life when he sees her ever glowing face full of light and pride,looks everytime a new bride...

My Luv

i don't know whether my dream will be true or not
but i love to be in dream world i have to mention not;
there i meet my love who is as fresh , charming and beautiful as ever,
that i can die to fulfill her wishes ..no matter of the outcomes whatsoever;

my eyes are filled with tears as i think of being so close to her
but life is a test and there is so much pain to endeavour,
still i am ready to face all the difficulties and fight this world ..
but i want to get all sorts of wins and success for my love even if i loose myself in the end;

it hurts a lot to come back to reality where i can feel my tears falling from the eyes...
it has been a long time now living in this way...
and i feel i am leading my life no way..
i keep longing to see her once and go crazy if i don't get her glance..
my nights of loneliness and memories is now asking me to take a chance..

but there comes the harsh reality and the brutal world,
who takes away all my fantasy and leaves me as always with a thousand wounds...
these cuts are deeper than the sword and have stabbed me so many times to death..
but i am all alone and continue longing for peace to the almighty lord..
it is now upto him to releive me from my deadly pains and sorrows..
but i will continue loving her and dying for her even if in return i get all the worldly woes.

Loneliness Anniversary...30 aug 2008

its now a year time
and yes i have learnt now how to rhyme
i know what this life is all about
as i have spent it thinking all around

it means moving on after felling
but i was trapped again and again,still i kept on trying
and here i am..learning to joy in sorrows and fighting with myself... trying to be a worth while dying;

i wanted to be myself while expressing my love
but i wasn't knowing there will be too much snow to shove
i kept felling and now i am too low to rise
am still finding an answer why is always there a hipe

i beleived in myself and i knew that i have gone far too deep to come back..
the only grievance being she thinking how shallow my feelings are..
i am no one for her and she is all my world around..
now i can't help myself as i am love bound..

but this numbness has been killing me and it doesn't even matter whether she is near around;
i have her in my heart which is deep enough to bear all her pains apart from the slow poison of her ignorance which is slowly taking me away from myself..

i don't know whether i will see another year pass by,
but my feelings are immortal and will vanish only after i am gone..
it makes difference to no one on this earth and everytime i see her i see an open grave in which i am laying down calmly,
free from my only desire of talking to her for a while..
no matter what but i will always love you and will be ready to die for you a number of times..

My Valentine

many come,many go
but i really want u 2 know..
u r among those very few
whom i can say i really knew
and yes..love has no bounds,
so i am asking u 2 heal my wounds

Emotions

what a beautiful world god has made
and even more beautiful are his creations
but there are some people devoid of emotions
and there are some who can die for relations
but what about those people who don't want to beleive that they can have emotions,
because it puts an end to what could have been lifelong relations??

Bak 2 college life

aaj wo nahi to kya hua
unka wajood to hamare saath hai
log kahte hain kya kabhi bhool paaoge use
ab kya bataye unhe ki wo mere dil mein baste hain
zindagi ka kya hai aj hai kal beet jaayegi
jaate jaate hamari bhi jaan chali jaayegi
par naa bhooolenge unhe jinhone hai jeena sikhaya
warna dil ko kya pata tha usne kya khoya aur kya paaya