Take My Life....

its not always about being loved
but it also is painful always only to love
i never asked you to love me
but i really wanted u to know the real me

the memories keep giving the pain
the pain which gave me pleasure sometimes
but now i suffer from it as i am used to it
and i know that its not possible to love u anymore

but my heart keeps falling for u ..now i hav forgotten the number of times..
it tells me to get down on my knees and plead to u to love me a bit more
but it doesn't know that it would bring no change,
otherwise i wud hav done this a number of times before

my heart keeps bleeding with tears everytime it sees u...
bcoz it knows what does it mean to hav a life without u...
life continues and so do i..but i really don't know why,
i want to leap forward and its not that i hadn't try;

i am really tired fighting with myself..
and writing again and again on the same issues
but i guess i can't help myself from doing so..
now tears keep falling and i don't know to consider it of joy or of sorrow..
i must say that i have become really very hollow...

ur happiness is the only thing which matters
and i will rip my heart if it comes to chatter
i really love u and u really think nothing of me...
this feeling persuades me to take some actions
but i don't know how i hav controlled myself..

i really fear loosing u...and even the thought of ur departure burns my heart out..
i will do anything to prevent u from going..
u tell me to die and i will cut my nerves to keep u smiling..
oh..yes if this gives u pleasure i will cut my heart out..and request u to keep it with urself..
so that it would beat next to u and will be alive and i can love u for the time immemorial and be myself...