Wish.....A Last Walk....

I hav been asking this question from myself for quite sometime now....
where did it go wrong..why did i make such a mistake...and how....
no wonder ....i made a blunder...
how desperately i wish to go back...back to that evening which toiled my life...
and i am still finding a way so that i don't have to regret all through my life...

sadly i have got no answer and no means..
but i was always brave enough to keep trying...yeah atleast to me...it seems...
some told that i will move on one day or other...and others thought its just a guy learning to rhyme...
but for me...it was an experience...which cannot fade away with time...
i learnt a lot and still want to keep learning amidst all these pains to endeavour....
even if i have to fall back in peaces and be a ghost just to hover....

i am fed up of asking the question...'why me??'
and i have learnt to bury sadness ....though i am fallen in tears and am bending on my knee
asking God to forgive me for all my wrongs and not to punish in this manner....
and to take away my life as it anyways is just a clatter...
or to give me one last chance to get my love back...
and to put my pride, honour and esteem on rack....

it has been xtremely different so far....and no doubt painful...
still i have to keep going ......a long journey awaits me....and i have to b more thoughtful.....
how i always wish i could walk beside her....and sit infront of her....and pour my heart out...
and then i come back to harsh reality....again back to failure...and clearing my doubt....
and again waiting to go back to my dreams...and my land of fantasy....
where her presence and thoughts are none less than an ecstasy...

today forgive me lord as i say this....and forgetting what i should do and what i have to do...
but i really want to be selfish...and commit this crime.....
i want to steal my love and give her what she wants...
and i ask you to give me strength to forget this wordly chant...
and to die for my love...to fulfill whatever her wishes are and to give her the treasure of life...
and before going please bless me with some time....the time of my life...
wherein i could tell my love....what she means to me....what has she made out of me....and how much i care for her....
a last chance to walk beside her....hold her warm palms...and kiss her on cheek....when my eyes are filled with tears of seperation...
and i could finally see her eyes becoming wet....not with grief of seperation....but because of her failure to understand the true me....
and i would still give her my love when i am gone...when she will remember that one day...the last walk....and finally....me......